Lent

This past Wednesday ended the Lent season. It is not always have to be sad and miserable, but more on reflection. I often thought of this, "reflection", during the last one month. Was also had tons of conversation with Him about it. In the last week of Lent, I made a point to stop by the chapel for at least half an hour after work. Through this exercise, I found myself entering His peace and comfort.

Life in the outside world is always busy and chaos. There is also constant "noise" to keep me content, songs, conversation, thoughts... Even though I try to drive quietly to work (no radio, no music), I still find difficulty to hold a conversation with Him. When I visit the chapel, silence engrosses me. Peace starts to fill in, mind starts to calm down... there, conversation is uninterrupted.

Even for a non-Christian, you can still walk into church or chapel to seek for peaceful mind. It is because these places are holy, and silence is to be observed.

Good Friday

這並不是快樂的一天。 兩千多年前不是﹐ 兩千多年後的今天也不是。 整個儀式是莊嚴, 沉靜的...
聖餐時﹐ 唱詩樂團選了這首聖歌﹕ "He will carry you"


There is no problem too big
God cannot solve it
There is no mountain too tall
God cannot move it
There is no storm too dark
God cannot calm it
There is no sorrow too deep
He cannot soothe it
If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders
I know my brother that He will carry you
If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders
I know my sister that He will carry you


情不自禁﹐ 眼淚掉了下來... 是的﹐ 有什麼祂不能緩和的? 再深的傷﹐ 只要放心交給祂﹐ 有一天會痊癒。 也許﹐ 要等一年﹐ 三年﹐ 甚至十年 總有那麼一天﹐ 傷口會愈合... 只要我相信。
多年前的今天﹐ 祂為了愛我們而犧牲自己。 三天後﹐ 祂替我們贖得永生。
有首詩歌這樣唱:

Dying You destroyed our death
Rising You restored our life

在祂的面前﹐ 總是渺小的。 老是覺得自己的困難很大﹐ 困擾很多。 和祂比起來﹐ 差太遠了...
明天﹐ 會是另一個開始...

Mad Season

昨天抽出 Matchbox Twenty 的 Mad Season 來聽。 當他們的 3 A.M. 大紅時﹐ 買了那張專輯﹐ 從此開始收集他們的作品。 對英文歌手﹐ 我收集的專輯﹐ 並不像對中文歌手﹐ 只要是該歌手的所有作品﹐ 都會買下。 Matchbox Twenty 和 Rob Thomas 除外。
Mad Season 是我在紐約的第一個夏天買的。 因為還在適應大城市的生活和氣候﹐ Matchbox Twenty 的歌﹐ 對悶熱 ﹑ 擾嚷的紐約﹐ 有了安撫的作用。 那年﹐ 紐約特別熱﹐ 凌晨三點坐在陽臺都還會流汗﹐ 沒有風。 所以後來聽 Mad Season, 總會想起那悶熱的紐約夏天。 那年﹐ 有個電台在一次的送禮活動中﹐ 贈送 Matchbox Twenty 的簽名照。 我竟然被抽中。 當拿到那黑白簽名照時﹐ 除了興奮﹐ 還有些感動。 那張照片﹐ 給壓力的紐約生活﹐ 增添不少鼓勵。 可惜那張黑白照﹐ 在我搬家時﹐ 弄丟了...
Rob Thomas 總是給我乾乾淨淨的感覺。 他的個人專輯﹐ 又和組合的專輯有些不同。 因為有驚喜﹐ 所以對他的個人專輯有盼望。 而他﹐ 也沒讓人失望。 最近發現﹐ 他的歌﹐ 越來越有勵志性。 蠻喜歡的...
那天表姐把 Rob Thomas 的最新歌曲 Someday 放上她的 fb, 希望你也會喜歡~


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6pODq8_FxE&feature=fvst



Played Mad Season in the car yesterday. I started to collect Matchbox Twenty's albums since I heard 3 A.M.. I don't collect English albums like I collect my Chinese albums, as long as I like the artist, I will buy all his or her albums. Matchbox Twenty and Rob Thomas are the exception. I bought Mad Season on the first summer I lived in New York. I was still adjusting myself into the mega city life and the weather. Matchbox Twenty songs comforted me in the busy city. That year, New York was extremely hot. Even when I sat on the balcony at 3 am in the morning, I was still sweating. There was no breeze... So now, whenever I listen to Mad Season, I always remember the hot and humid New York summer. That year, a radio station gave out Matchbox Twenty black & white signed photo as a gift. I registered online to try my luck. I was surprised to get a call one morning from the DJ on me receiving that photo! When I received it, I was excited and was touched... The photo encouraged my depressed New York life. Unfortunately the photo was lost when I was moving house...
Rob Thomas always give me a clean & bright, positive-attitude impression. His singles are different than the group albums. But they are all great. I always look forward to his and his group new albums. His songs are quite optimistic lately, quite like them... My cousin linked Rob Thomas' latest song, Someday on fb that day. Hope you will like it~

我能帶走你的什麼

我能帶走你的什麼　當你離情依依含情而脈脈
相愛的人兩個角落　思念的夜要如何渡過


我想帶走你的什麼 能否帶走你那深情的眼眸
殘留指尖的你溫柔　月光之下你的迷和濛
我能帶走你的什麼


我能帶走你的什麼　突然之間很多話我想說
說我愛你沒有理由　說我想你當我獨自走


我想帶走你的什麼　你的深情可以透明了我
你的溫柔讓我灑脫　你的迷濛使我深愛過


我能帶走你的什麼
你卻只是拉著我的手又低下頭
你不肯說　在此刻　我的心中充滿疑惑
我像下雨　風又吹起　就像那風雷一樣
我沒有了自己　發現我今後不能沒有你
就算記得所有你甜蜜　時間它會沖淡所有的記憶
只要我們兩個一起　你擁有我我也擁有了你
就像陽光還有那小雨　填滿所有相愛戀人的空隙


我要我們兩個一起　你屬於我我也屬於了你
就像春天還有那綠地　一遍一遍主宰我的呼吸


讓我帶走你的什麼　好不好怎麼做
我能帶走你的什麼　讓我帶走整個的你


詞﹕ 伍佰 曲﹕ 張洪量


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77OHKrkhRT0&feature=related


很喜歡張洪量。 因為多年來他一直堅持做自己的音樂。 以前﹐ 是因為他一手包辦作詞 ﹑ 作曲 ﹑ 製作﹐ 整張專輯的幕後都是他的名字。 很敬佩他。 現在﹐ 每每聽到他的新歌﹐ 還是很興奮。 聽了之後﹐ 總有說不出的滿足。


“我能帶走你的什麼” 是比較新的作品。 寫情歌﹐ 他還是很拿手... 他的另類創作﹐ 要一段適應期。 了解以後﹐ 會有驚喜。 “有種”里的歌﹐ 到今天仍然愛不釋手... 聽“隨慾“時﹐ 很嚮往那樣的意境... 當“老子有理”發行時﹐ 到底是先喜歡上莊子的哲學﹐ 還是先愛上這張專輯。


閒來無事﹐ 可以聽聽張洪量的歌﹐ 了解他。 他的情歌﹐ 在夜裡格外優雅...
這是像詩的”你始終仍舊在“


好花常開不過冬　美夢總隨波逐流
覺悟雖有百般痛　理智勝不過情濃
一生缺憾有幾個　自怨自艾許多人
知音易尋不易得　最難緣與份契合


你始終仍舊在我心裡　緊繫著我的靈魂扯不走
縱然造化一再的作弄　情何以堪罷休

斯人憔悴仍如往日的初衷

別告訴我　　　色全是空


人散兩地曲未終　回首難續今生夢
上窮碧落下黃泉　何處尋找你影蹤
人說心有靈犀一點通　肺腑傳書何需要用筆墨
想必上蒼從來不曾感動　阻絕了思路相通
事已至此　我又夫復何求
向命運低頭　也難將覆水收

詞﹕ 張洪量 曲﹕ 張洪量

之三﹕ In His Time, In His Way - Vol. 2

憋不住了... 終於決堤了... 唉... D: 得重新再來。 去懺悔﹐ 神父讓我在下個星期的每一天去chapel坐坐。 

然後在禮拜里他提到﹐ 祂不會遷就你的時間﹐ 你的地點。 He will not make it convenience for you. 很多時候﹐ 是非常不方便的。 這就是我所相信的﹐ in His time, in His Way... 說得一點也沒錯。 可是﹐ 已經踩在雲霧里近三個星期﹐ 難免會懷疑... 唯有繼續禱告。 誰叫我是肉身﹐ 暫時無法理解祂的用意。 

突然想起﹐ 另一位神父曾經分享過﹐ 他也被“送”去chapel坐過。 後來他想通了。 有段時期﹐ 他因有段不愉快的經歷﹐ 把自己包圍起來﹐ 與世隔絕。 在一次無意的情況下﹐ 和另一位神父起衝突。 他決堤了﹐ 敗下陣來... 在懺悔的過程中﹐ 他領悟許多﹐ 也在後來的日子里﹐ 可以面對那位神父。 他說﹐ 只可惜我們還是人﹐ 還是要面對生活。 但也因為這樣﹐ 才是完整的“你”。 我們不可能只有完美的一面。 因為和殘缺 ﹑ 受傷的那一面﹐ 才能拼湊完整的你。 

得耐心地等 ﹑ 得堅持下去﹐ 總有一天會“守得雲開見月明”。因為我深信﹐ in His Time.

之二﹕ In His Time

"In His time, in His time, He makes things beautiful... in His time...Lord please show me everyday as You are teaching me Your way..."

Godpa說他上了三年的RCIA才決定皈依。 他相信﹐ in His time, in His way... 雖然用了三年﹐ 祂還是感動了他。 另一位朋友說﹐ 她隨丈夫和孩子上教堂上了近十年﹐ 去年才皈依。 她也相信﹐ in His way, in His time. 每個人都有每個人的故事... 這... 非常個人﹐ 只有自己體會了﹐ 才會了解箇中滋味 ﹑ 才會被感動。

"that You do just what You say... in Your time..."

我只需要﹐ 耐心等待... 會有那麼一天﹐ 我會明白﹐ 祂的用心良苦...

之一﹕ Yahweh, I know, You are near...

"Yayweh, I know, You are near. Standing always at my side. You guard me from the foe, and You lead me in ways everylasting..."


最近﹐ 心神不寧... 睡得也不好... 祈禱﹐ 也沒多大的幫助。 有時在想﹐ 好像不大信任您。 可能是自己超之過急吧... 不太好。


"Lord, You have searched my heart, and You know when I sit and when I stand. Your hand is upon me, protecting me from death, keeping me from harm...."


讓我想起﹐ 有位神父說過﹐ 我們總像坐在超市里推車的小孩﹐ 要這要那﹐ 可是﹐ 推車一直往前推﹐ 並沒有停下來讓我們拿我們要的東西。 也許﹐ 祂並不認為﹐ 那件“物品” 對我好。 所以﹐ 祂沒應驗我的禱告。


"Marvelous to me are Your works, how profound are Your thoughts my Lord. Even if I could count them, they number as the stars, You would still be there..."

我只要相信祂吧﹐ 相信祂會給我﹐ 祂認為對我是最好的。 因為祂答應我不會嫌我 ﹑ 棄我。 只是﹐ 我得不住提醒自己。


"Yayweh, I know, You are near. Standing always at my side. You guard me from the foe, and You lead me in ways everylasting..."

備註﹕ 也因為實在感到徬徨﹐ 所以聽這首歌時﹐ 是在安慰自己...

心﹐ 有了歸宿

心，终于有了归宿，在2007年。
以前，有困难、疑惑、 焦虑时，总是不知所措。 除了向朋友倾诉，别无他法。 朋友若忙，便只能藏在心中。
这三年一路走来，渐渐发觉，在祂的胸懷裡﹐ 一顆忐忑的心﹐ 可以安靜下來。。。 活在這世上﹐ 難免要焦慮﹑ 傷心﹑ 感慨﹐ 有了祂﹐ 和相信一切都會有祂關照﹐ 對人對事﹐ 就有了不一樣的見解。
剛才馬汀問我們﹐ 過去的一年 (至三年)里﹐ 我們有什麼改變嗎? 仔細想想﹐ 很多人與物﹐ 我都放心交給祂。 曾經有位歌手說過﹐ 只有祂知道哪一個位置最適合我。 我所選擇的﹐ 並不一定適合我。
距離復活節還有三個星期。 心﹐ 終於可以安定下來。 因為﹐ 我相信。


My heart, has found its home, in 2007.
Before this, I was despair when I was anxious or in doubt. Most of the time, I would talk to my friends. But they were not there all the time. When I was no where to share my feelings, I kept them to myself.
I finally find peace in Him along these 3 years... When you are alive, it is difficult to avoid all these feelings. Trust Him with His care, I've changed my ways to look at things and to treat people.
Martin asked us just now, any changes in our lives since our baptism? I recalled, I learnt to consult Him in the past 3 years. A singer said before, only He will know where to put me. My choice, might not be suitable for me.
3 more weeks to Easter, may the peace be with you. Because, I believe.