即來之﹐ 則安之

一連串發生的事﹐ 雖已在意料之內﹐  難免還是惆悵... 

我知道﹐ 這是我自己選擇的﹐ 應該自己負責。 雖然如此﹐ 還是忍不住向朋友傾訴。 他勸說﹐ 趕緊鋪好後路﹐ 離開吧。 很多時候﹐ 你所看到的外表﹐ 並不是想象中的美好。 最糟糕的是﹐ 我拿來比較。 唉﹐ 真是罪過...  這件事讓我覺悟﹐ 不應該比較﹐ 既然相信﹐ 就得服從﹐ 有一天也許你會了解那個位子的用心良苦。 

儘管如此﹐ 即來之﹐ 真的能安之嗎...? 

即來之﹐ 則﹐ 安之~

Even though I've expected all these, I am still depressed... 

I know, this is what I'd chosen, I need to be responsible for it. I still can't help but grumble. My friend asked me to prepare myself and leave. A lot of times, it looks really nice from the outside. But it is different when you go in. Worst still, I compare. *sigh* it is a sin... I realize, I shouldn't have compared. If I decide to believe in her, I should obey her. One day, I might understand her situation. 

Afterall, can I face what is about to come...? 

Well, whatever is coming, I can't stop it. The best is, let it be.

Leap of Faith

Today's reading is about Thomas. He told the others he would only believe when he saw Him and touched Him. After revealing Himself, He told Thomas, "You are able to see and touch me. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe." That is, us. 

We were not there when they crucified Him, we were not there when He appeared to those who believed in Him, we were not there when He presented miracle. Yet, we believe in Him. We believe we will one day unite with Him, like the others have gone before us. He will raise us up at the end of the day. He will walk with us on this life. We will be part of Him on the next life. People say, this is called "FAITH".

One of today's Praise and Worship songs was "Power of Your Love". I must admit, I wasn't sure of His love after my baptism. The phrase of "He loves you" sounded very distance. I couldn't feel it at all. Today, after three years, He has taught me, day by day, about this phrase. I'm still experiencing it. It is not easy, as I cling on human so much for so many years. I rely on another being's love. This love is so vulnerable... so weak... Little bit of shakes will crumble this love, regardless you build it in 3 days or in 3 years or, even 30 years...

Only by His love, I can be assured. For He will not betray, He will not turn away, He will not hide. He will always be there to welcome me, like He does every Sunday. He will always be ready, to give me a hug.

Here is the lyrics of "Power of Your Love":

Lord I come to You 

Let my heart be changed, renewed 

Flowing from the grace

That I've found in You

And Lord I've come to know 

The weaknesses I see in me 

Will be stripped away 

By the power of Your love

Hold me close 

Let Your love surround me 

Bring me near 

Draw me to Your side 

And as I wait 

I'll rise up like the eagle 

And I will soar with You

Your Spirit leads me on 

In the power of Your love

I hope, one day, I will say in return: "I love You", with all my heart and all my soul.

原宥

原宥﹐ 並不是件容易的事。 尤其是對你深愛的人。 那可能是幾年﹑ 幾十年的事。 

有人一輩子都沒有原諒對方。 以為已經忘記﹐ 以為忘記就算原諒。 等到要緊關頭﹐ 才猛然發現﹐ 根本沒有原諒。 回到了原點。 我承認﹐ 這需要時間。 不是一﹑ 兩天﹐ 甚至一﹑ 兩個月的事。 這期間﹐ 悲傷﹑ 自卑﹑可能還有憤怒﹐ 都會不時地出現。 

呵﹐ 還最忌“找借口”。 都是因為他﹐ 所以我無法專心讀書﹔ 都是因為他﹐ 所以我退步了﹔ 都是因為他﹐ 所以我無法投入工作﹔ 都是因為他﹐ 所以我自暴自棄... 千萬不可。 因為他不會內疚﹑ 回頭。 內疚而回頭又如何? 你還會想繼續麼? 能擔保在接下來的三﹑ 五年他不會重蹈覆轍...? 這才發現﹐ 原來愛得不夠深。

小時候﹐ 長輩不是常教我們﹐ 跌倒了要自己爬起來嗎? 不要耍賴﹑ 在地上打滾﹐ 因為沒人可以幫忙。 你可以坐在地上休息﹑ 擦傷口。 可是一定要站起來。朋友和家人可以借肩膀給你﹐ 可是站起來走的人﹐ 是自己。

只有原諒對方﹐ 才能釋放自己... 這是一門藝術﹐ 一道智慧。 有那麼一天﹐ 你會感激他。 因為你釋放自己﹐ 活得更好。

只有努力生活﹐ 愛惜生命﹐ 才是對自己最好的交代。 


Forgiveness, it is never an easy task. Especially to your love ones. It could go on for years... 

Some people have never forgive others throughout their whole lives. They think they have forgotten, and forget is forgive. Until on the dead bed, they realize they have never forgiven... Well, they return to the original point - didn't forgive. I must admit, it takes time. It is neither one or two days, nor one or two months. During this period, sad, anger, or feeling inferior will occur. 

Oh,  we also need to avoid "excuses". Because of him, I can't study. Because of him, I can't do well in my papers. Because of him, I can't work properly. And, give up on ourselves... Shouldn't. He won't turn back or feel bad. Even if he feels bad about you, will you accept him again? Will he repeat in 3 or 5 years time? You will realize then, you don't love him that much... 

When we were young, we have been told to get up by ourselves when we fell. No one could help you. You can sit down and clean your wound. But you have to stand up by yourself. Your friends and family will only lend you a hand. YOU are the one who will stand up and walk. 

Only through forgiveness, you set yourself free. This is an art, a piece of knowledge. One day, you will thank him. As you release yourself from this, you live better. 

It is for your own sake when you live your life to the fullness and take good care of yourself.