剛剛有位朋友一直向我道歉﹐ 說她沒告訴我﹐ 她其實很早就向委員會提出自願當facilitator。 我莫名其妙﹐ 一再告訴她沒關係。 然後她又說她也沒告訴另一些人﹐ 我才發覺問題所在﹕ 她太介意我 ﹑ 與這些人怎麼想。
我曾經也是個很在意朋友 ﹑ 甚至陌生人對我的看法。 會一直向別人解釋我為什麼這樣想 ﹑ 這樣做。 親近的朋友會任我說﹐ 但陌生人就覺得莫名其妙﹐ 認為多此一舉。 現在﹐ 我比較可以接受自己不必向別人解釋太多事。 說真的﹐ 很多人都不會在意。 顧自己的事都來不及呢~ 我並沒有提倡我行我素﹐ 我還是傾向合群。 只要不太隨波逐流﹐ 偶而擁有自己的意見﹐ 不是件壞事。 在適當的時候有主見﹐ 會換來一些尊重的。
先入為主﹐ 是我們常對人對事的態度。 可是有些人與事﹐ 不是“常恆”的定理。 人與事﹐ 在不同的時間 ﹑ 不同的角度會有不一樣的反應及結果。他當時的所作所為﹐ 會有一定的理由。 你能不能夠接受﹐ 那是你的事。 輪不到我評斷。 若真的不能容忍﹐ 那就走開吧﹐ 退一步海闊天空。
不要太過執著 ﹑ 太過武斷﹐ 人與事﹐ 都會改變。 有一天你會明白。
A friend apologized to me just now, as she had volunteered earlier to be a facilitator. I was confused, but told her it was ok. Then she mentioned she also didn't tell another group of people, I realized what was her problem: she cared too much of what I, or other people think of her.
I used to care of what my friends and others think of me. I would explain to others why I thought this way, or why I did this. My friends would let me say what I wanted to say, but strangers would find it odd: why did you need to explain it... Nowadays, I can accept the fact that I don't have to explain every action. To be honest, nobody cares what you think and what you do. Can't even care enough for themselves... I don't mean to do things without guidelines, or to do whatever you like. I still go with the majority. But not following the crowd, sometimes, isn't that bad. To voice up your opinion might also gain some respects.
We always judge by the first impression. But there is nothing forever unchanged. People will have different response towards things at different moments or at different angles. There is always a reason why something has happened. If you can't accept it, it is up to you. I can't comment. If you really can't stand it, just walk away. The alternative route may be smooth and wide.
Things will change. Don't be too judgmental. You will understand it one day.
