Dear Father,
10 years, as you said, to some people it's a long time. To others, it is short. At the sunrise age, 10-year is nothing. At the sundown age, 10-year is an achievement, as you don't know how many more 10-year you could go...
I was surprised of your message last Saturday when I greeted you. Well, maybe it was because you seldom talked about your belief. You said, He carried you more than you realized all these years. Your wish was to become His servant and nothing more. I'm glad to hear that, really glad.
Remember I called you up once during work? I asked you about His sign. You replied the same, as what others had been telling me so far. I asked Him to let me stay for another week or two, as I just started to discover something and I wanted to find out more. I didn't really want to make a harsh decision. Actually, I have a mixed feeling towards this decision. On one hand, I was glad I did wait, as I found something that led to my passion. On the hand, I saw the ugliest side of this whole situation I was in then. I thought I had been immune of this whole thing about disappointed-with-a-human-being, but my feelings were far more hurtful than I expected. I had trouble sleeping at night, no appetite, and the negative cycle just continued by itself.
I've been trying very hard to put a stop of all these negative feelings. Am still trying. At least now I can eat and eat well. The sleep will eventually pick up, I think.
August is a turning point. I know from this month onwards, I will become better and better, both physical health and mental health.
You too, Father, please take good care of yourself. Will pray for you.
God Bless.
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