12/07/2009 : 祂是誰?

Dear Father, 

This week topic was, "Who is Jesus Christ?". Our table topic was even more interesting, who is Jesus, before and after your baptism. I remember that year, when I was still a non-believer, I left the answer blank. I didn't know how to answer the question. I only knew He was the God for Christians, He was far and distance. And God to me, was always high up there. But in the past few years, Christianity has taught me, God is near, God can be near and close. He doesn't need to be far and distance all the time. Jesus was a man, He lived like us. He knew human's feeling, He understood us. But He had more faith than us, He trusted His Father more than us. He showed us this FAITH, He taught us this FAITH. 

Today, He is more like a friend to me. He is the most excellent listener, I gather. When nobody wants to listen to you, He will always be there, ready to hear what you want to say. I have developed this habit of talking to Him every morning in the car. That is the only time where I can CHOOSE not to have any sounds. Some days were just reports, some days were comments, some days were conversations﹐ and some days were just silence. Whichever ways of communication, our relationship is certainly closer and closer. 

I know you will be grateful for me when you hear this, do you not Father?  ^_^ 

God bless. 

05/07/2009 : Speak to Me

Dear Father, 

The good thing about re-journey is, you pay attention and agree more compared to the previous time. Like the teacher mentioned, He plans our lives for us. But we choose. We choose to be good, we choose to be bad. 

My friend asked me to keep hoping. She would continue to pray for us. As for me, I leave it to Him. I trust that He will lead me. I shall wait patiently. A lot of times, we tend to be impatient and look for a sign. Is this His message? Is that what He want to show? But I know, through experience, He will speak to me when I least expected. Always, through another person, He will speak to me. Sometimes, He will go through different people to speak the same thing to me. Reinforce, I guess.  ^_^ 


God bless. 

“I Breathe, I Feel, Therefore I'm Alive"

This is a Chinese song by Chang Yu Sheng, who passed away more than 10 years ago. I bought his album compilation lately, heard this song again. 

Ever since I'd crossed the gate marked "30", when asked about my experience, I could use "ten over years", etc. to describe the event. Getting old~ hey! Could abuse it... 

Realize that I always think about the past lately, especially when I start writing in Chinese: listen to songs and music that I listened when I was in high school, buy albums that you don't see them often in market nowadays, go to Chinese bookshop to look for books... I have not touched all these "Chinese" the moment I went to university. I was determined to improve my English, I read English novels, listen to English songs, watch English movies. My English had then picked up after I started reading novels. Improvements had shown in my writing and speaking. I have also collected few authors' publications since then. All these years, because of work and relationship, I only used English in my daily life. Even if I used Chinese, it was also related to work. Until I downloaded NJ Star, started to write something, I was able to use Chinese again - the language I've longed for... 

The older you are, the more you look at your past. I'm sure some of you might agree with me. The different now is, I look less to my past. Even though I live by myself, I seldom feel "lonely". I must admit, religion has a big influence on me now. It helps me to be more optimistic, compared to the past negative "Yi Xin". I do believe in positive thinking attracts positive response. And I do receive more than I expect. Please refer to the book "Secret". You will love it. 

I breathe, I feel, therefore I'm alive. I'm joyful, I'm sorrowful, it is because I'm loved.

21/06/2009 : In His Time

Dear Father, 

Glad to take your suggestion to re-journey RCIA. Saw most of the familiar faces among facilitators. Glad to have Godpa at my table, I guess Godma purposely put him here. Hehehe....  ^_^  

Commitment was what I needed for this re-journey. I knew He would guide me once again, to what He wanted me to be. I was surprised what someone told me once: when you start to serve Him, He will find time for you and for your life. He will "help" you to find time for Him. 

After one full year of re-journey RCIA, I was amazed by my commitment. It wasn't tiring, or felt obligated. In fact, I saw myself drawing closer and closer to Him. I looked at things differently, felt differently for people, and most importantly, I do things differently. 

We all believe "thing happens for a reason". And if this is the REASON of what had happened to me, I gladly accept it. Yes, even though it took me one year to realize it, I appreciate it. 

I can say, Father, I'm better off today. Maybe I didn't learn it early enough, but, it is NEVER too late. 

God bless. 

這一年﹐ 這一夜

~獻給喜歡張雨生的歌迷們

這一年 這一夜

作詞 / 作曲﹕ 張雨生

太陽燒紅了海洋　海洋包容了太陽
向晚天空缺了一角　月亮探頭撒張網
眼觀鼻觀心口上　你那羞澀不能忘
我的手臂不勝扭曲靠上你的肩膀

山頂一片白茫茫　風起滾層層浪花
向晚天空明暗更替　霞彩忙著點新妝
眼望雲望西天涯　你那出神不能忘
我的情緒傻傻隨你飛進美麗烏托邦

＊這一年這一夜　回憶溫暖我疲憊
小黃燈書桌前　細數有心人情淚
看似清實迷離　情路又玄又是漩
為你　我更舉杯　好景當前莫留連

獵戶星在前方亮　雙熊盤踞北極光
春分時候無際穹蒼　銀河舞會星宿忙
眼遊神遊老與莊　你那無語不能忘
我的胸口鼓鼓吹脹歡樂幸福的遐想 

這一年﹐ 這一夜

寫完前兩篇﹐ 才發現原來我很想向大家推薦這首歌。 

不記得是在他生前 ﹑ 還是在他走後才聽這張專輯﹐ <<卡拉Ok Live。台北。我>>。 剛開始聽﹐ 覺得很另類。 但聽幾遍後﹐ 竟然愛上了...首首都喜歡。 除了張洪量和張宇外﹐ 很少有歌手讓我這般喜歡。 像這首<<這一年 這一夜>>﹐ 歌詞寫得太美了。 配合他譜的曲﹐ 整首歌給人一種非常舒服和安逸的感覺, 也有感動 ﹑ 希望... 發現80年代末 ﹑ 90年代的歌手都比較創作型﹐ 可以一直唱到現在。 也可能是我有段時間沒有聽中文歌*﹐ 對新歌手沒什麼印象。 

這張專輯以後﹐ 才發覺他很有才華。 以前都沒什麼注意他﹐ 只會唱他很紅的歌曲。 他總在寫一些很現實的歌﹐ 提醒大家保護我們的社會 ﹑ 國家 ﹑ 環境 ﹑ 以及人類。 請注意一下我們的周遭﹐ 不要只一味“取”﹐ 而不會“給”。 雖然那些歌(如﹕ <<我想把整片天空打開>> ﹑ <<帶我去月球>> ﹑ <<自由歌>>等)沒像這張專輯寫得這麼明顯﹐ 但都希望給歌迷們一些啟示。  

這張專輯里有很多他對“人“的看法。 我在維基百科看到他曾說﹕ ”一些同業認為在商業機制下，我有夠膽大妄為，製作助理一再提醒我費用超支的情況，公司內部屢屢投來的迷惘但同情的目光，為宣傳的切入點傷透腦筋…，然而，狀況與變數終會過去，唯有作品會留下來，那些用心、那些靈光閃動瞬間的驚喜會不斷帶給後繼的人希望！“

有一天﹐ 希望我們也能為我們的四周﹐ 做點什麼。 可以是對人 ﹑ 對社會 ﹑ 對國家 ﹑ 對環境。 

希望他的用心 ﹑ 他的靈光在未來的日子里不斷給你驚喜 ﹑ 給你希望!

*注﹕ 請參考上篇<<我呼吸﹐ 我感覺﹐ 我存在>>里提到我為什麼很久沒聽中文歌。